Music to My Ear

• How does your prose sound? Read aloud and listen. Do you hear awkwardness, odd rhythms, or lack of balance?

Before: The school board recommends teaching reading before writing and that literature be used in the classroom.

After: The school board recommends teaching reading before writing and using literature in the classroom.

• Do you hear choppiness? Too many short sentences? Vary length and rhythm.

Before: Genesis tells a creation story. God created the world. He separated light from darkness. He names the elements of life. He decides to make Adam. Adam is his final creation. Man is highest form of life. God gives Adam the power to name animals. God thus shows that Adam has divine power.

After: Genesis tells the story of creation. God created the world by separating light from darkness, then naming the elements of life. Adam is God's final creation and thus the highest form of life. By giving Adam the power to name animals, God gives Adam divine power. Through language, Adam becomes God.

Before: God, who creates the world and man as the highest form of creation, gives Adam the divine power to name the world's creatures.

After: After creating the world and man, the highest form of creation, God gives Adam the divine power to name the world's creatures.

• Does each sentence end on a strong note? If not, revise so you end each sentence with a noun or verb.

Before: The orator's words hid what he was really thinking about.

After: The orator's words veiled his thoughts.

Before: The reader of Hard Times will find his perception of society changing. Most readers will find it hard to put down the book and head home to their wives.

After: Readers of Hard Times will find their perceptions of society changing. Most readers will find it hard to put down the book and head home to their families.